TOAST AND SPEECH SAMPLES
AGE - AMERICA - ANNIVERSARIES
BABIES & CHILDREN - BETTER TIMES - BIBLICAL
BIRTHDAYS - CHAMPAGNE - CHRISTMAS - CITIES & TOWNS
FISHING - FOOD - FRIENDSHIP - GENERAL - GRACES GUESTS - HEALTH - HOME - HOSTS & HOSTESSES - HUSBANDS - INTERNATIONAL - IRISH - JEWISH - LIBATIONS - LOVE - LUCK - MILITARY - NEW YEARS - PARENTS - PARTING - PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE
SCOTTISH - SHAKESPEAREAN - SPECIAL OCCASIONS
SPECIAL PEOPLE - TEMPERATE - THANKSGIVING
WEDDINGS - WIVES - WOMAN & WOMEN
AGE
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
~GROUCHO MARX
Do not resist growing old---many are denied the privilege.
Here's a health to the future;
A sigh for the past;
We can love and remember,
And hope to the last,
And for all the base lies
That the almanacs hold
While there's love in the heart,
We can never grow old.
Long life to you and may you die in your own bed.
May the lord love us but not call us too soon.
May you enter heaven late.
May you live as long as you want, may you never want as long as you live.
Only the young die good.
~OLIVER HERFORD
The good die young---here's hoping that you may
live to a ripe old age.
To the old, long life and treasure;
To the young, all health and pleasure.
~BEN JONSON
AMERICA
America and England: and may they never have any division but the Atlantic between them.
~CHARLES DICKENS
Here's to the memory
Of the man
That raised the corn
That fed the goose
That bore the quill
That made the pen
That wrote the Declaration of Independence.
One flag, one land, one heart, one hand, one nation evermore.
~OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES
Our country, Congress, cash, and courage.
Our country! When right, to be kept right. When wrong, to be put right!
~CARL SCHURZ, who was doubtlessly responding to a
statement by Stephen Decatur (1779-1820) that
was a very popular toast for many years and
which became a rallying cry for supporters of U.S.
government policies during the Vietnam War.
To America: With all its faults and blemishes, this country gives a man elbowroom to do what is nearest his heart..
~IN ERIC HOFFER'S FIRST THINGS, LAST THINGS
To our country! Lift your glasses!
To its sun-capped mountain passes,
To its forest, to its streams,
To its memories, its dreams.
ANNIVERSARIES
Here is to loving, to romance, to us.
May we travel together through time.
We alone count as none, but together we're one,
For our partnership puts love in rhyme.
~IRISH
Here's to you both---
a beautiful pair,
on the birthday
of your love affair.
Let anniversaries come and let anniversaries go---but may your happiness continue on forever.
Love seems to swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
~MARK TWAIN
May the warmth of our affections survive the frosts of age.
We've holidays and holy days, and memory days galore;
And when we've toasted every one, I offer just one more.
So let us lift our glasses high, and drink a silent toast---
The day, deep buried in each heart, that each one loves the most.
BABIES & CHILDREN
A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.
A loely being scarcely formed or molded, A rose with all its sweetest leaves yet folded.
~LORD BYRON
Grandchildren are gifts of God. it is God's way...
Of compensating us for growing old.
~IRISH
BETTER TIMES
A speedy calm to the storms of life.
Everybody in life gets the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor in the winter.
~BAT MASTERSON
Words found in the typewriter of this famous
sportswriter after he suffered a fatal heart attack.
If this is a blessing, it is certainly very well disguised.
~WINSTON CHURCHILL
on his defeat in the 1945 general election,
quoted by Richard Nixon in Memoirs of Richard Nixon.
May poverty always be a day's march behind us.
May the sunshine of comfort dispel the clouds of despair.
BIBLICAL
A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry.
~ECCLESIASTES 10:19
Eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart.
~ECCLESIASTES 9:7
Wine maketh glad the heart of man.
~PSALMS 104:15
Wine was created from the beginning to make men joyful, and not to make men drunk. Wine drunk with moderation is the joy of the soul and the heart.
~ECCLESIASTES 31:35-36
BIRTHDAYS
Here's to you! No matter how old you are, you don't look it!
May you live to be a hundred years with one extra year to repent.
~IRISH
To wish you you on your birthday And all the whole year through, For all the best that life can hold Is none too good for you.
To your birthday, glass held high, Glad it's you that's older---not I.
CHAMPAGNE
Here's champagne to your real friends and real pain to your sham friends.
Here's to champagne, the drink divine, That makes us forget all our troubles; It's made of a dollar's worth of wine And three dollars' worth of bubbles.
(This is the original version of this toast, at least ninety years old; so you may want to inflate the dollar amounts to update it)
Some take their gold
In minted mold,
And some in harps hereafter,
But give me mine
In bubbles fine
And keep the change in laughter.
~OLIVER HERFORD
CHRISTMAS
A Christmas wish---May you never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
~IRISH
At Christmas play and make good cheer. For Christmas comes but once a year.
~THOMAS TUSSER
Here's to the holly with its bright red berry. Here's to Christmas, let's make it merry.
Here's to the day of good will, cold weather, and warm hearts!
Holly and ivy hanging up
And something wet in every cup.
~IRISH
Peace and plenty for many a Christmas to come.
~IRISH
Then let us be merry and taste the good cheer, And remember old Christmas comes but once a year.
~FROM AN OLD CHRISTMAS CAROL
CITIES & TOWNS
Here's to our town---a place where people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like.
FISHING
A bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at work.
Here's to Fishing---a grand delusion enthusiastically promoted by glorious liars in old clothes.
Here's to our fisherman bold,
Here's to the fish he caught;
Here's to the one that got away,
And here's to the one he bought.
FOOD
A full belly, a heavy purse, and a light heart.
Eat well's drink well's brother.
~OLD SCOTTISH PROVERB
Let the dogs wait a long time.
~IRISH WISH FOR A LENGTHY AND AMPLE DINNER
May you always have red-eyed gravy with your ham, hush puppies with your catfish, and the good sense not to argue with your wife..
~TOAST FROM TENNESSEE, QUOTED BY
TIMOTHY NOAH IN THE NEW REPUBLIC
FRIENDSHIP
Here's to a friend. He knows you well and likes you just the same.
Here's to beefsteak when you're hungry, Whiskey when you are dry, Greenbacks when you are busted, And Heaven when you die!
Here's to Eternity---may we spend it in as good company as this night finds us.
Here's to our friends...and the strength to put up with them
May the friends of our youth be the companions of our old age.
The Lord gives our relatives, Thank God we can choose our friends.
To our best friends, who know the worst about us but refuse to believe it.
To the spirit of Christmas yet to come.
~WORLD WAR II TOAST
GENERAL
Be glad of life! Because it gives you the chance to love and work, To play and to look up at the stars.
~HENRY VAN DYKE
Blue skies and green lights.
Good company, good wine, good welcome mane good people.
~SHAKESPEARE
Here's to becoming top banana without losing touch with the bunch.
~BILL COPELAND
Here's to us that are here, to you that are there, and the rest of us everywhere.
~RUDYARD KIPLING
It is best to rise from life as from the banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken.
~ARISTOTLE
Love to one, friendship to many, and good will to all.
Make every day a masterpiece.
Make the most of life when you may, Life is short and wears away!
~WILLIAM OLDYS
May those who deceive us be always deceived.
May you have warmth in your igloo, oil in your lamp, and peace in your heart.
~ESKIMO TOAST
May we all live in pleasure and die out of debt.
May we be happy and our enemies know it.
May we live to learn well,
And learn to live well.
May we never do worse.
May we be merry and lack nothing.
~SHAKESPEARE
May your life be as beautiful as a summer day with just enough clouds to make you appreciate the sunshine.
~FOUND INSCRIBED IN A BOOK DATED 1882
So live that when you come to die, even the undertaker will feel sorry for you.
~MARK TWAIN
To the good old days...we weren't so good, 'cause we weren't so old!
GRACES <<TOP>>
Be present at our table, Lord.]
Be here and everywhere adored.
These mercies bless, and grant that we
May feast in Paradise with thee.
~JONH CENNICK, 1741
Bless, O Lord, this food to our use, and us to Thy service, and make us ever needful of the needs of others, in Jesus' name, Amen..
~TRADITIONAL PROTESTANT GRACE
Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts which we have received out of Thy bounty, through Christ Our Lord. Amen.
~TRADITIONAL CATHOLIC GRACE
Come, Lord Jesus, Be our Guest, and let Thy gifts to us be blessed. Amen.
For the air we breathe,
and the water we drink,
For a soul and a mind
with which to think,
For food that comes
from fertile sod,
For these, and many things
I'm thankful to my God..
~THANKSGIVING GRACE WRITTEN BE COMEDIAN
DANNY THOMAS WHEN HE WAS IN THE 6TH GRADE.
For what we are about to receive, the Lord make us truly thankful, for Christ's sake. Amen.
~OLD ENGLISH CLASSIC WHICH IS PROBABLY THE
BEST KNOWN OF ALL CHRISTIAN ENGLISH-LANGUAGE GRACES.
God bless the master of this house,
God bless the mistress too;
And all the little children
Who round the table go..
~TRADITIONAL BRITISH GRACE
God is great, God is good,
We will thank Him for this food.
By his hand must all be fed
Thanks be to God for our daily bread.
~TRADITIONAL CHILDREN'S GRACE
Good bread, good meat
Good God, let's eat!
Heavenly father bless us,
And keep us all alive:
There's ten of us for dinner
And not enough for five.
Lift up your hands toward the sanctuary and bless the Lord. Blessed art Though, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, who brings forth bread from the earth. Amen.
~TRADITIONAL JEWISH
THANKSGIVING BEFORE MEALS
May the good lord take a liking to you---but not too soon!
GUESTS
May our house always be too small to hold all our friends.
~MYRTLE REED
See, your guests approach: Address yourself to entertain them sprightly, And let's be red with mirth..
~SHAKESPEARE, WINTER'S TALE, ACT IV
The ornament of a house is the guests who frequent it.
HEALTH
Early to rise and early to bed
makes a male healthy and wealthy
and dead.
~JAMES THURBER
Here's a health to every one;
Peace on earth, and heaven won.
Here's to your health! You make age curious, Time furious, and all of us envious.
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Dr. Merryman.
~JONATHAN SWIFT
To your good health, old friend,
may you live for a thousand years,
and I be there to count them.
~ROBERT SMITH SURTEES
HOME
God bless our mortgaged home.
Here's to home, the place where we are treated best, and grumble the most
~FROM AN OLD POSTCARD
HOSTS & HOSTESSES
A toast o our host And a song from the short and the tall of us, May he live to be The guest of all of us!
Here's to our hostess, considerate and sweet; Her wit is endless, but when do we eat?
May the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out.
~IRISH
To our host,
An excellent man;
For is not a man
Fairly judged by the
Company he keeps?
To the sun that warmed the vineyard, To the juice that turned to wine, To the host that cracked the bottle, And made it yours and mine.
To our hostess! She's a gem. We love her, God bless her. And the devil take her husband.
To our host: The rapturous, wild, and ineffable pleasure of drinking at somebody else's expense.
~HENRY SAMBROOKE LEIGH, 1870
What's a table richly spread Without a woman at its head?
HUSBANDS
Here's to the man who loves his wife, And loves his wife alone. For many a man loves another man's wife, When he ought to be loving his own.
May your life be long and sunny And your husband fat and funny.
When the husband drinks to the wife, all would be well; when the wife drinks to the husband, all is.
~OLD ENGLISH PROVERB
INTERNATIONAL
An assembly of short toasts or, as they have been called, cheers to get you through a United Nations reception. Their English equivalents are along the lines of Cheers, To your health, and Bottoms up.
Albanian: Gezuar.
Arabian: Bismillah. Fi schettak.
Armenian: Genatzt.
Austrian: Prosit.
Belgian: Op uw gezonheid.
Brazilian: Saude. Viva.
Chinese: Nien Nien nu e. Kong Chien. Kan bei. Yum sen. Wen lie.
Czechoslovakian: Na Zdravi. Nazdar
Danish: Skal.
Dutch: Proost. Geluch..
Egyptian: Fee sihetak.
Esperanto: Je zia sano.
Estonian: Tervist.
Finnish: Kippis. Maljanne.
French: Avotre sante'. Sante'.
German: Prosit. Auf ihr wohl.
Greek: Elis Igian.
Greenlandic: Kasugta.
Hawaiian: Okole maluna. Hauoli maoli oe. Meli kalikama.
Hungarian: Kedves egeszsegere.
Icelandic: Santanka nu.
Indian: Jaikind. Aanand.
Indonesian: Selamat.
Iranian: Besalmati. Shemoh.
Italian: A la salute. Salute. Cin cin..
Japanese: Kampai. Banzai.
Korean: Kong gang ul wi ha yo.
Lithuanian: I sveikas.
Malayan: Slamat minum.
Mexican: Salud.
Moroccan: Saha wa'afiab.
New Zealand: Kia ora.
Norwegian: Skal.
Pakistani: Sanda bashi.
Philippine: Mabuhay.
Polish: Na zdrowie. Vivat.
Portuguese: A sua saude. .
Romanian: Noroc. Pentru sanatatea dunneavoastra.
Russian: Na zdorovia.
Spanish: Salud. Salud, amor y pesetas y el tiempo para gustarlos! (Health, love, and money and the time to enjoy them!)
Swedish: Skal.
Thai: Sawasdi.
Turkish: Serefe.
Ukrainian: Boovatje zdorovi.
Welsh: Iechyd da.
Yugoslavia: Zivio.
Zulu: Oogy wawa.
IRISH
May you have warm words on a cold evening, A full moon on a dark night, And the road downhill all the way to your door.
May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always at your back, the sun shine warm upon your face, the rain fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again may God hold you in the hollow of His hand.
May the rocks in your field turn to gold.
May the saints prtect you, And sorrow neglect you, And bad luck to the one That doesn't respect you.
May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rains fall soft upon your fields.
May you have the hindsight to know where you've been, the foresight to know where you're going, and the insight to know when you're going too far.
May you look back on the past with as much pleasure as you look forward to the future.
May you never make an enemy when you could make a friend unless you meet a fox among your chickens.
May your fire be as warm as the weather is cold.
May your fire never go out.
JEWISH
The prime Jewish toast is the Hebrew L'chayim, which means "to life," or "to your health." Mazel tov is also used as a toast. Leo Rosten explains which to use when in his Joys of Yiddish: "Some innocents confuse L'chayim with mazel tov, using one when the other would be appropriate. There is no reason to err. L'chayim is used whenever one would say Your health, "Cheers!" or (I shudder to say) "Here's mud in your eye. 'Mazel tov! is used as "Congratulations."
LIBATIONS
Drink and be merry, for our time on earth is short, and death lasts forever.
Drink, for you know not When you came, nor why, Drink, for you know not why You go, nor whence.
~OMAR KHAYY'AM
I Drink with impunity---Or anyone who happens to invite you!
~ARTEMUS WARD
I Drink when I have occasion and sometimes when I have no occasion.
~MIGUEL DE CERVANTES
LOVE
Because I love you truly,
because you love me, too,
My very greatest happiness
Is sharing life with you.
Come in the evening, or come in the morning, Come when you are looked for, or come without warning, A thousand welcomes you will find here before you, And the oftener you come here the more I'll adore you.
~IRISH
Drink to me only when thine eyes, And I will pledge with mine; Or leave a kiss but in the cup, And I'll not look for wine.
~BEN JONSON, "TO CELIA"
Here's to love and unity,
Dark corners and opportunity.
Here's to Love, that begins with a fever and ends with a yawn.
Here's to the land we love and the love we land.
Here's to the prettiest, here's to the wittiest, Here's to the truest of all who are true, Here's to the neatest one, here's to the sweetest one, Here's to them all in one---here's to you.
Here's to you who halves my sorrows and doubles my joy.
I have known many,
liked quite a few,
loved one---
Here's to you!
Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
~FRANKLIN P. JONES
Love is what you've been through with somebody.
~JAMES THURBER
Say it with flowers
Say it with eats,
Say it with sweets,
Say it with jewelry,
Say it with drink,
But always be careful
Not to say it with ink.
To every lovely lady bright,
I wish a gallant faithful knight;
To every faithful lover, too,
I wish a trusting lady true.
~SIR WALTER SCOTT
The love you give away is the only love you keep.
~ELBERT HUBBARD
LUCK
As you slide down the banister of life, May the splinters never face the wrong way.
Everything of fortune but her instability.
May the chicken never be hatched that will scratch on your grave.
MILITARY
A stout ship, a clear sea, and a far-off coast in stormy weather.
~NAVY
To our women, our horses, and the men who ride them.
~CALVARY TOAST, WORLD WAR I, FROM THE FRENCH
To the confounding of our enemies.
~TOAST FAVORED BY DEAN ACHESON
Gold ships, fair winds, and brave seamen.
~NAVY
Grog, grub, and glory.
~NAVY
Here's to the ships of our navy, And the ladies of our land; May the first be ever well rigged, And the latter ever well manned.
~NAVY
May no son of the ocean be devoured by his mother.
~NAVY
Put your trust in God, boys, and keep your powder dry.
~COLONEL BLACKER
The three generals in peace: General Peace, General Plenty, and General Satisfaction.
~ARMY
To long lives and short wars!
~COLONEL POTTER, "M*A*S*H" 1980
True hearts and sound bottoms.
~NAVY
NEW YEAR'S
Be at war with your voices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.
~BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
Here's to the bright New Year, And a fond farewell to the old; Here's to the things that are yet to come, And to the memories that we hold.
In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, but never in want.
~IRISH
In the year ahead, May we treat our friends with kindness and our enemies with generosity. Let us resolve to do the best we can with what we've got.
May your nets be always full---
your pockets never empty.
May your horse not cast a shoe
nor the devil look at you
in the coming year.
~IRISH
Words for Auld Land Syne
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to min',
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And days of auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
Forauld lang syne,
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
And here's a hand, my trusty fierce,
And gie's a hand o' thine,
And we'll tak' a right guid willie-waught,
For auld lang syne.
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
And surely ye'll be your pint stowpt,
And surely I'll be mine,
And we'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne,
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
~ROBERT BURNS
PARENTS
Father. May the love and respect we express toward him make up, at least in part, for the worry and care we have visited upon him.
Here's to the happiest hours of my life---Spent in the arms of another man's wife; My mother!
To Life. The first half is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
To Mother and Dad on their wedding anniversary: We never know the love of our parents for us till we have become parents.
~HENRY WARD BEECHER
PARTING
Happy are we met, happy have we been, Happy may we part, and happy meet again.
Here's to good-byes---that they never be spoken! here's to friendships---may they never be broken!
May we always part with regret and meet again with pleasure.
PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE
May we always look forward with pleasure, and backward with regret.
The have-beens, the are-nows---and the may-bes!
SCOTTISH
A guid New Year to yin and a'
And mony may you see,
And may the mouse ne'er run out o'
Your girnel wi' a tear in its 'e.
May the best re've ever seen
Be the worst ye'll ever see.
May the winds o' adversity ne'er blaw open our door.
SHAKESPEAREAN
Fair thought and happy hours attend on you.
~THE MERCHANT OF VENICE, ACT III
Frame your mind to mirth and merriment, Which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life.
~THE TAMING OF THE SHREW, ACT II
Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.
~TWELFTH NIGHT, ACT III
The best of happiness, honor, and fortunes keep with you.
~TIMON OF ATHENS, ACT I
They do not love that do not show their love.
~TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA, ACT I
SPECIAL OCCASIONS
Here's looking at you, though heaven knows it's an effort.
Here's to a clear conscience---or a poor memory.
The Graduate
A toast to the Graduate---in a class by him/herself.
Imperfect Love
Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you'd be surprised at the large number that reenlist.
~ACTOR JAMES GARNER
'Tis better to have loved and lost,
Then to marry and be bossed.
Introductory
Here's mud in your eyes---while I look
Over your beautiful sweetheart!
On The Trail
A health to the man on the trail tonight; may his grub hold out; may his dogs keep their legs; may his matches never misfire.
~JACK LONDON
Religion
To Church
; The first time one goes he has water thrown on him, the second time he has rice thrown on him, the third time he has dirt thrown on him.
SPECIAL PEOPLE
Balloonist
May the wind welcome you with softness, May the sun bless you with his warm hands, May you fly so high and so well, God joins you in laughter, And may He always set you gently back again Into the loving arms of Mother Earth.
~USED SINCE THE 18TH CENTURY
The Cowboy
Here's to luck, and hoping God will take a likin' to us!
~COWBOY, DAKOTA TERRITORY, CIRCA 1880
Creditors
Here's to our creditors---may they be Endowed with three virtues: Faith, Hope, and Charity!
Doctors
Unto our doctors let us drink,
Who cure our chills and ills,
No matter what we really think
About their pills and bills.
~PHILIP MCALLISTER
When Judgment Day arrives and all The doctors answer for their sins, O' think of what they'll get who bring The howling triplets and the twins.
Farmers
Fat cattle, green fields, and many a bushel in your barn.
~IRISH
To Farmers---founders of civilization.
~DANIEL WEBSTER
Lawyers
The glorious uncertainty of the law!
~A TOAST AT LEGAL DINNERS SINCE 1759
The law: It has honored us; may we honor it.
~DANIEL WEBSTER
The lawyer---a learned gentleman, who rescues your estate from your enemies, and keeps it himself.
To lawyers: You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die with them..!
~JOSEPH H. CHOATE
Novice
Here's to learning the ropes without coming unraveled.
Psychiatrist
Here's to my psychiatrist. He finds you cracked and leaves you broke.
Toastmaster
A toastmaster is a person who eats a meal he doesn't want so he can get up and tell a lot of stories he doesn't remember to people who've already heard them.
~GEORGE JESSEL
We'll bless our toastmaster,
Wherever he may roam,
If he'll only cut the speeches short
And let us all go home.
The Virgin
Here's to ____________
For her, life held no terrors
Born a virgin, died a virgin
No hits, no runs, no errors.
Writers
Authors are judged by strange, capricious rules, The great ones are thought mad, the small ones fools.
Writing is a dog's life, but the only life worth living.
~GUSTAVE FLAUBERT
TEMPERANT
Bacchus has drowned more men than Neptune.
If you drink like a fish,
Drink what a fish drinks.
